A Modern Man: The Best of George Carlin (2021)

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  • Book - Hachette Books / Hachette Book Group, Inc. 309 pages.

  • Forward by Lewis Black

  • Introduction by Jerry Hamza

  • Cover design by Amanda Kain

  • Cover photo by AP Photo / The Lima News, David G. Massey

About

“A Modern Man: The Best of George Carlin” is a compilation of various excerpts from Carlin’s books Brain Droppings (1997), Napalm & Silly Putty (2001), When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004), plus some of the bonus material from 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George (2006). Some of these same routines also made it to his live albums.

There is a forward written by comedian Lewis Black, as well as an introduction by Jerry Hamza who was Carlin’s longtime manager and close friend. Various black and white photos of Carlin are placed throughout the book, showing him at various different times throughout his life.

Contents

  1. Foreword by Lewis Black

  2. Introduction by Jerry Hamza

  3. The Primitive Sergeant (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  4. Fun Foes (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  5. Let’s All Kill Each Other According to the Rules (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  6. If Only We Were Human (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  7. Euphemisms: It’s a Whole New Language (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  8. Peace on You (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  9. Politically Correct Language (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  10. Short Takes (Part 1) (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  11. The Planet Is Fine, the People Are Fucked (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  12. What’s My Motivation? (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  13. The “Pre-” Epidemic (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  14. Name It Like It Is (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  15. Keep It—We Don’t Want It (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  16. People I Can Do Without (Part 1) (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  17. Expressions I Question (Part 1) (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  18. Some Favorite Euphemisms (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  19. More Favorite Euphemisms (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  20. Even More Favorite Euphemisms (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  21. Get a Life (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  22. Marry an Orphan (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  23. I’ve Got Your Sanctity of Life (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  24. Your Children Are Overrated (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  25. Parental Guidance (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  26. Five Uneasy Moments (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  27. Euphemistic Bullshit (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  28. Interview with Jesus (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  29. The Grief/Tragedy/Sympathy Industry (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  30. God Has Gotta Go (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  31. Bullets for Believers (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  32. Some Like It Hot (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  33. Euphemisms: The March of Time (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  34. Capital Punishment (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  35. Farm System: Thugs, Pervs, Nuts, and Drunks (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  36. Not Every Ejaculation Deserves a Name (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  37. Short Takes (Part 2) (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  38. Don’t Blame the Leaders (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  39. The 20th Century World-Hostility Scoreboard (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  40. Rockets and Penises in the Persian Gulf (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  41. The George Carlin Book Club (Offer #1) (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  42. Things That Are Pissing Me Off (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  43. Euphemisms: Write If You Get Work (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  44. Euphemisms: What Do You Do for a Living? (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  45. Families Worth Loathing (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  46. People I Can Do Without (Part 2) (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  47. The George Carlin Book Club (Offer #2) (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  48. Old and Stingy (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  49. The Control Freaks (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  50. Uncle Sam Wants You (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  51. Too Many People (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  52. Politician Talk (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  53. Nothing Changes (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  54. The George Carlin Book Club (Offer #3) (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  55. Euphemisms: Political-Interest Groups (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  56. A Place for Your Stuff (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  57. Small Towns (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  58. Expressions I Question (Part 2) (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  59. Short Takes (Part 3) (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  60. Baseball and Football (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  61. Erin Go Fuck Yourself (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  62. Play Ball!!! (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  63. Pass the Roles (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  64. Sports Roundup (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  65. You’re a Natural (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  66. Life’s Little Moments (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  67. Euphemisms: It’s Gettin’ Old (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  68. Funerals (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  69. Seven Death Wishes (from Napalm & Silly Putty (2001))

  70. Suicide: The Option (from 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George (2006))

  71. People Who Should Be Phased Out (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  72. Euphemisms: Broke, Nuts, and On the Street (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  73. Terrorism Misnomers (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  74. Please Don’t Say That (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  75. The Fanatics Will Win (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  76. Celebrity Crystal Ball (from 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George (2006))

  77. Euphemisms: Death and Dying (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  78. It’s No Bullshit! (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))

  79. Rules to Live By (from Brain Droppings (1997))

  80. A Modern Man (from When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004))