42. “Boy, I feel safer now that Martha Stewart is behind bars. …”

GEORGE CARLIN DID NOT say this.

“Boy, I feel safer now that Martha Stewart is behind bars. OJ and Kobe are walking around; Osama Bin Laden is still out there, and they take the one woman in America willing to cook, clean and work in the yard and haul her ass to jail.”

As usual, no sign of this on any of his albums or HBO specials, nor in any of his books. Stewart’s conviction happened in March 2004, so the quote can’t be earlier than that, even though it was a long trial and what not. The earliest credits I see to somebody are in November 2004, to Tim Wilson. Later in 2005, you saw it getting attributed to Tim Allen, and then only another year after that did people start crediting it to George Carlin. This screams “FAKE”.