30. Various one-liners, part 4


Various one-liners, part 4

  1. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

  2. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

  3. If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

  4. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

  5. Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?

  6. Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “asteroids”?

  7. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

  8. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

  9. Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?

  10. If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?

  11. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

  12. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?

George Carlin did not write these. Off hand, I noticed that #36 sounds like a joke that Robert Schimmel has done. #38 is usually attributed to Steven Wright (as are many internet one-liner jokes), though off hand I can’t remember whether or not he really said it. Regardless, it’s still not a joke list composed by George Carlin.