7. “George Carlin’s Views on Aging”


“George Carlin’s Views on Aging”

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. ‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m four and a half!’ You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.


HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay ‘them.’ 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. 3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s. 4. Enjoy the simple things. 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath…. “



Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Granted, Carlin did have a routine about ages and aging that he did on the I have no idea why anybody would really think the second half of this came from Carlin. It’s clearly not his style. The first section is mostly straight from a routine by comedian Larry Miller, which you can see in the YouTube link below. The numbered list seems to be tacked on from some other source.