31. Various one-liners, part 5


Various one-liners, part 5

  1. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

  2. Why do we say something is out of whack? What’s a whack?

  1. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

  2. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  3. When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts”, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

  4. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

  5. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.

  6. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

  7. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

  8. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

  9. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

  10. Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

  11. “I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?

George Carlin did not write these. It was explicitly said so on his official website. You’ll notice a few missing numbers from this list; I just removed some of the jokes that were already in some of the previous lists of bogus Carlin quotes.