23. Platform as a Write-In Candidate in the 2008 Election
GEORGE CARLIN DID NOT write this.
Platform as a Write-In Candidate in the 2008 Election
“I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE. HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1.) Press 1 for English is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.
(2.) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country’s attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the ‘Walmart’ policy, ‘If we ain’t got it, you don’t need it.’
(3.) …”, etc.
More often this one got misattributed to Bill Cosby, but on occasion it got attributed to George Carlin. Neither one of them wrote the piece. In fact, it doesn’t even sound like the view or writing style of either of them.