48. “The best engine in the world is the vagina. …”


“The best engine in the world is the vagina. It can be started with one finger. It is self-lubricating. It takes any size piston. And it changes its own oil every four weeks. It is only a pity that the management system is so fucking temperamental.”

I haven’t found this quote in any of Carlin’s albums, HBO specials, or books. The quotation in whole and in part has also been credited to “Dr. Hermann Otto Kloepneckler, M.D. PhD”, an “Austrian gynecologist”, having supposedly stated it in 1912. It’s sometimes accompanied by a photo of philosopher/mathematician Charles Sanders Peirce (1839-1914). The name of course sounds made up, and not suprisingly I haven’t found any references to Kloepneckler outside of this particular joke post. It was showing up a lot in 2009, but I was able to find an instance of it as early as 2007. Regardless, this seems to be another case of some idiot taking a dirty quote from the internet and falsely attributing it to Carlin.